EUMETSAT Moodle
Signs You Might Be Dating a Heartbreaker
The New Year is coming and welcome to the other side of the holiday season. ‘Tis the part of the season where federal holidays are aplenty and single men become presidents of this grand ole land of ours.
For most people, the new year represents a time for personal observation and depression reflection. This is the time that most of us swear not to fall for the same pitfalls and dumb sh*t traps we landslided into in prior years knowing good and damn well that we’re going to keep making the same mistakes over and over. It’s what we do. We’s people.
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Despite this human tendency towards redundant f*ckery, I (for one) still believe in this ability to learn and overcome like the good Reverend Doctor. So it is with great pleasure that I aim to help us all enter the new year in a state of educationed focus. You see, I believe that not only are children the future, or that if you teach them well you can let them lead the way — I also believe that if you have knowledge, thou shalt share it with the masses.
Each one teach one.
With that in mind, I shall be helping the fellows with a small segment of pride that we all are forced to face at some point or another: the fact that we just might be dating the neighborhood ho.
Oh John the Rabbit, oh yes. It’s happened to so many of our peers. And it could happen to you (don’t worry ladies, I have one for you tomorrow).
So here’s a short list of ways that you can tell whether or not you, as a man, are dating the Trollop International Expressway.
1) If she knows more men than you do.
Women are notorious for saying that they don’t like to hang with other chicks. We all know that this makes them EB’s. However, there’s also another alternative. Perhaps she’s just ran thru more men than Forrest Gump ran thru states. I mean sh*t happens and everything, but if she knows a man everywhere she goes, and her name isn’t Cheers, chances are she’s smoked more sausage than Jim Beam.
2) If she has a few places she ALWAYS tends avoid.
The only time in my life I’ve ever avoided places was when I had somebody I didn’t want to see. Now imagine a woman who had BEACOUP places she just NEVER wants to go for whatever reason. My guess? She’s got jones who’ve boned who she’s probably not trying to let know she’s got a new beau. Which doesn’t bode well for you bucko since more than likely, she’s just using you as one of many men on her Love Train. Coincidentally…
3) She doesn’t find anything wrong with overly lewd acts of pleasure such as, I don’t know, trains.
Any woman who’s on the “well it’s not so bad if…” side of a conversation involving more d*cks than a 1950’s detective movie is clearly not the kind of woman you want to bring home to momma. Or grandmomma. Or even your bookie. If she justifies it, that means she’s tried it. And if she let 12 hit (at a time), well you should quit (hey, that rhymed!). Lots of women have Rabbits, but if you find her on youtube with a horse (I refuse to put the “video” of the woman and horse up here), and you come to realize you’re dating her — just go kill yourself.
So as we start off the new year making sure that everybody here is on the right relationship track, what are some other signs that a guy just might be dating Lucy Loosethighs?!